You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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