dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
