have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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