So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
