i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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