Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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