There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
