Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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