why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
