So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
