If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
