how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
