ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
