im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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