So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
