kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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