sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
