Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
