I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
