Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
