I am spending my child support on dildos
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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