i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
