i just google imaged poop.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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