if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
