The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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