He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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