There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
