I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
