He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
