I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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