life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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