why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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