So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This is my gift to your gina
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize