the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
