you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
