Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
