I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize