my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
