I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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