My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
