Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
