You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
