i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
