Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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