Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
