In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize