Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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