How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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