you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize