2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
