Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize