you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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