I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
