weddingsv make me drug and hornr
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
