Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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