I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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