i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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