she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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