they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
